Honor that Heals V
Honor That Heals (Series)
You’re reading Part I of VI
Part I → Honor that Heals I
Part II → Honor that Heals II
Part III → Honor that Heals III
Part IV → Honor that Heals IV
Part V → Honor that Heals V
Part VI → (coming soon!)
If you already know you’re ready for the full guided process, Honor That Heals is available with immediate access (self-paced, ~85 minutes, lifetime replay).
→ Honor that Heals Masterclass
Content note: This post mentions domestic abuse and legal protection. Please take care of your heart as you read. You are never required to reconcile with unsafe people in order to honor biblically.
Let’s talk about the promise attached to this commandment:
“Honor your father and mother… that it may go well with you.”
If you’ve ever read that and thought…
“Okay… but what if my story includes real harm?”
Or “What does ‘go well’ even mean when my family life has been chaos?”
Or “Is honoring just another way Christians tell women to stay silent?”
I understand that question from the inside.
And before I share anything personal, I want to make this crystal clear:
This is not prosperity gospel.
Honor is not a vending machine where you put in obedience and God dispenses a perfect life.
Honor is order.
It’s the Holy Spirit healing what’s disordered in the heart and mind — the tangled loyalties, bitterness, fear, shame, survival patterns, and coping strategies — so your inner world comes back under God’s order.
And when the inner world becomes ordered, life becomes clearer:
your decisions, relationships, boundaries, and even your ability to receive love and care.
Sometimes that does show up as tangible “good.”
Sometimes it shows up first as freedom — and that freedom changes everything.
If you’re here because this feels tender, let me speak to safety first.
Biblical honor does not require:
excusing abuse
denying reality
staying in contact with unsafe parents
forcing reconciliation
performing a “nice Christian daughter” role that costs you your nervous system
Honor can exist with boundaries.
Honor can exist with distance.
Honor can exist even when the relationship never becomes what you wanted.
That’s why this work has to be approached carefully.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t want to keep circling this,” I created a guided path for you.
Honor That Heals is a self-paced masterclass (~85 minutes) with immediate access and lifetime replay.
The “fruit” I’m talking about isn’t a highlight reel.
It’s the outcome of a healed root.
There was a season of my life where “going well” felt impossible.
After my divorce, I was grieving and trying to stay steady for my children. I was navigating safety concerns, doing what needed to be done legally, and carrying a level of stress I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
And in that season, I learned something that changed me:
I didn’t just need information.
I needed Jesus to heal what had been formed in me through years of pain.
Because you can love God sincerely and still carry:
resentment that keeps resurfacing
guilt and confusion around honor
fear of displeasing God
self-abandonment patterns
emotional shutdown
over-functioning
a constant “brace position” in your body
And those patterns don’t disappear because you try harder.
They disappear when the Lord heals the root.
Here’s what “it may go well” looked like for me (first, internally)
Before anything external changed, the Lord began giving me:
emotional steadiness (no more constant spikes of anxiety)
clarity (what’s mine to carry vs. what isn’t)
the ability to set boundaries without spiraling into guilt
genuine softness in my heart without denying the truth
deeper trust in God as Father
That is “going well.”
And it’s the kind of “well” that can happen even if your parents never change.
Then, over time, my life began to reflect that internal healing in tangible ways too.
I found myself receiving things I couldn’t manufacture: support, safety, provision, restoration, and a kind of love that felt secure — not chaotic.
Not because I performed honor perfectly.
Not because I earned God’s favor.Not because I performed honor perfectly.
Not because I earned God’s favor.
But because as my heart became more ordered, I could finally receive what God was already trying to give.
He gave me eyes to see what was right in front of me all along.
That’s the fruit I’m talking about.
The question is not “Will I get the same life she got?”
The question is: Will I become more free?
If you’re reading this hoping I’ll promise you a specific outcome—marriage, money, family reconciliation, perfect peace—
I won’t do that.
I can’t do that.
But I can tell you what this work is designed to produce:
A reconciled heart posture before God.
Freedom from bitterness and inner chaos.
Wisdom for boundaries.
Clarity in how to honor without self-betrayal.
Peace that isn’t dependent on your others’ behavior.
And when that happens, it truly can begin to “go well” in the ways God intends.
So let’s talk about how this fruit began showing up in my life.
Before I continue, please hear my heart:
This isn’t about showing off.
This isn’t “look at my life.”
This is look at what God has done.
Because it wasn’t always like this for me — not even close.
And the only reason my life looks the way it does now is because the Lord led me through the deep work of healing, repentance, honor, forgiveness, sanctification, and reconciliation.
After my divorce in late summer 2024, I entered a level of grief I could not have foreseen. Even though I knew the Lord led me to end that marriage — and that it was the right decision, given how unsafe things were — the pain was still immense.
After separation, the abuse escalated. I had to pursue legal protection and walk through months of exhausting, stressful steps to keep my children and myself safe.
It was heavy. Exhausting. And deeply tender.
In that season, I found myself crying out to Jesus night after night after my children were asleep. I remember telling Him through sobbing prayers that I needed a hug — because while His Spirit sustains us, it does not replace every human need we carry in this life.
I needed to be held.
I needed safety.
I needed care.
In late January 2025, I had a dream I will never forget.
In the dream, I was being pursued by a man who meant to harm me. I ran into a home and locked myself in the bathroom. From behind the door, I heard the husband of the house confront the intruder, firmly tell him he was trespassing, and send him away.
When the danger passed, the couple let me know it was safe to come out — and as I stepped outside their home, another man (no one I recognized) approached me and wrapped me in the warmest, safest hug.
I could feel it: relief, protection, safety.
I woke up with that feeling still in my heart and body.
And this is the part of the story that still leaves me in awe:
A series of events unfolded in the days that followed — unmistakably tender — that led to the clearest confirmation I’ve ever received:
God was leading me into a hug I never expected…
with a man who had quietly loved and supported me for nearly a decade.
Joseph.
God was planting seeds long before I had eyes to see them.
And it truly took Him opening my eyes to what was right in front of me all along.
There we were — just two people standing before God — saying yes to the story He had been writing all along.
Things were becoming rightly ordered in my heart and life… going His way.
It became a year The Lord rebuilt my life in ways I could never have imagined.
And I want to be clear: the greatest fruit wasn’t external — it was internal order.
It has only been possible because of the slow, holy work of partnering with the Lord for heart healing and mind renewal… untangling what had been broken and knotted since childhood.
My heart is now able to abide in His:
Peace.
Safety.
Stability.
Identity.
Rest.
None of this is random.
None of this is coincidence.
Every single piece is the fruit of letting Jesus heal my heart — of addressing bitter roots, learning to honor at the heart-level, and allowing The Holy Spirit to unite my heart to His (Psalm 86:11).
Again, I’m not sharing this to boast.
I’m sharing it because it wasn’t always this way — and because I know what it’s like to long for these things and not see them anywhere in sight.
For years, I struggled with instability, lack, and painful cycles that felt impossible to break.
Now, I experience a steadiness I didn’t used to have.
None of this came from striving.
None of it came from my own effort or performance.
This is the fruit of healing.
This is the fruit of an untangled heart.
This is the fruit of reconciliation with God.
It's the fruit of Honor that Heals.
And this is what I long to lead you into.
Signs you’re ready for this work (honest and specific)
You might be ready for Honor That Heals if any of these are true:
You feel guilty when you set boundaries—even when they’re necessary.
You love God, but the parent topic creates anxiety, grief, or rage in your body.
You’ve “forgiven,” but the pain keeps resurfacing and you don’t know why.
You feel spiritually stuck around this commandment.
You’re tired of living in survival patterns you can’t fully explain.
You want to honor biblically without minimizing what happened.
If you felt your chest tighten reading that… I see you.
And I don’t want you to stay trapped there.
Your next step (if you’re feeling led)
I created Honor That Heals as a trauma-aware, Scripture-centered masterclass for Christian women who want to walk out biblical honor with clarity and emotional safety.
What you’ll walk away with:
a grounded understanding of what honor is (and what it is not)
a framework for honoring with boundaries intact
the difference between heart-level reconciliation and relational reunification
a path to bring your story to God without bypassing or self-abandoning
practical next steps you can apply immediately
Self-paced masterclass (~85 minutes) • Immediate access • Lifetime replay
If you’re not ready just yet, here’s what to do next
Start at the beginning of the series and move slowly:
Part I → Honor that Heals I
Part II → Honor that Heals II
Part III → Honor that Heals III
Part IV → Honor that Heals IV
Part V → Honor that Heals V
If you want the guided process:
→ Honor that Heals Masterclass
With so much love,
